For whatever reason, "total depravity" has been an important thing for me to grasp and to be able to articulate, biblically, to others who may struggle with the same confusion.
After a great deal of reading, pondering and praying: this is how I would articulate my understanding in a nut shell:
Although we are all created differently (some with a more tender-heart than others; some less capable of committing heinous sins), our souls are all equally in the same condition - totally depraved and corrupted by original sin—we are all “spiritually dead” and must be “born-again” regardless of our “natural bent” or any learned morality.
Man tends to view and understand "Total Depravity" to mean a man's acts and desires to sin. Whereas, God's view and meaning of our "total depravity" has to do with the actual spiritual condition of our souls--regardless of how tender-hearted, kind, compassionate, and gentle He may have made our fleshly hearts for His temporal purposes.
Our souls are all equally "Total Depraved" yet we are all not created (from birth) equally capable of committing "acts" of total depravity; i.e. Charles Manson, Hilter, etc. or even desiring to do so.
Now that makes a great deal of sense to this finite mind. Please do not hesitate to correct me, if you feel that I am still off track with this.
God Bless you and thanks for your willingness to devote some of your time to help me wrestle this through.