February 17, 2009
From the heart of this "Warrior"
I am often misunderstood in “Christian” circles. So, this is my attempt to share my heart with anyone reading this blog:
The delight of my heart is to see men who love the Lord so much that they spend more time in the Word of God and in prayer than they do with the TV remote in their hand.
The delight of my heart is to see God raise young men up (or revive the hearts of older men) in positions of leadership in such a way that they actually bring Him glory; equip the saints; and, usher more souls into the Kingdom of God.
The delight of my heart is to be used by God to encourage and equip (in a non-authoritarian way) men to better serve the body of Christ as leaders because there is nothing that delights me more than to see men being used the way in which God has ordained.
The delight of my heart is to see men of God who are well equipped to take on the roles and responsibilities that God intended for them—both in the home and in the local church.
As a single woman, I have been free to concern myself wholly with the Lord's affairs, as Paul said in I Corinthians 7, and my aim in life has been to grow in the knowledge of my Lord and Savior; and, in so doing to not be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of my mind, in order that I will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will; To be transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. This has been the desire of my heart for many years.
So that I might be equipped to be salt and light to a dying and lost world. So, that my pathetic life on this earth might bring Him glory! So, that I might know what it is to love Him with all my heart, with all my understanding and with all my strength, and to love my neighbor as myself; so that Christ might dwell in my heart through faith and being rooted and established in love; and that I may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ; so that all who I come into contact with and all who have not met me personally may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge; so that I might have a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith; so that my love might give others great joy and encouragement, because God has used me to refresh the hearts of the saints.
As a single woman, I have been allowed to keep my heart as the Bride of Christ in a very special sense and my desire and focus as been to offer to the Heavenly Bridegroom, alone, all that I am and all that I have. As a single women, I have been allowed to give myself willingly to Him, in love exclusively, and I have no need to justify myself to the world or to Christians who plague me with questions and suggestions about “finding a man” or “wouldn’t I feel more complete if I were married”.
In this way, I have had opportunities (not open to the married woman). I have no husband or children to devote my time to and have been allowed to devote a great deal of time to Him.
With this comes difficulty. With this comes the reality that some men (and women) find me intimidating.
Why? Perhaps you might ask yourself, "WHY"?
I want men in the pulpits.
I want men teaching Sunday school.
I want men leading Bible Studies.
I want men being the spiritual leaders of their families.
But, I want them equipped!
The idea of seeing women in those roles disgusts me! This is not a game. This is not a play in which we all take on a role and wear a mask to pacify our conscience or feed our weak, prideful egos.
This is "life" and this is all that matters.
"Where are the young men of this generation who will hold their lives cheap, and be faithful even unto death, who will lose their lives for Christ's, flinging them away for love of Him? Where are those who will live dangerously, and be reckless in this service? Where are the men of prayer? Where are the men who count God's Word of more importance to them than their daily food? Where are the men, who, like Moses of old, commune with God face to face as a man speaks with his friend? Where are God's men in this day of God's power?"