I have been in prayer and meditation all day, regarding something that the Lord has laid very heavy on my heart. I have written out my feelings for hours and have deleted every single one of my thoughts-dismissing them as ridiculous. Then, at 9:05 p.m., I receive an evening devotional from one of my "dead men" websites that sums everything up (that I have been trying to express). Praise and thanksgiving to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Here it is:
God's sin-purging medicine (Arthur Pink, "A Fourfold Salvation" 1938)"
God chastens us for our good--that we may share in His holiness." Hebrews 12:10
Chastening is God's sin-purging medicine, sent . . . to wither our fleshly aspirations, to detach our hearts from carnal objects, to deliver us from our idols, and to wean us more thoroughly from the world.
God has bidden us, "put to death whatever in you is worldly: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desire, and greed." (Col. 3:5) If we refuse to comply with this unpleasant task, then we may expect God Himself to use the pruning knife upon us! "My son, do not take the Lord's chastening lightly, or faint when you are reproved by Him." (Heb. 12:5)
This is a beneficial warning. So far from despising the Lord's chastening, we should be grateful for it--that God cares so much and takes such trouble with us, and that His bitter medicine produces such healthful effects. "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." (Hebrews 12:11)
Oh, how deceitful our hearts are. We create our own misery and then cry out to God to bless us with the desires of our deceitful hearts!